pointless

tell me do you know the feeling,
you were supporting the roof now you're left holding a square of ceiling?
staring at the wreckage all around trying to decipher its meaning..
or at least its cause
you found out too late there's a button that says 'pause'
trying to hold yourself together, try and keep composure
or at least find enough good in this life to create closure.
you could do it alone before why can't you now?
that was dang good performance girl you should take a bow.
you deserve a standing ovation
this foundation was false from its very formation.
easy for you to stay on the positive side,
i'm dealing with a loss and the fact that you lied.
you cant deny that i tried,
it tore me apart every time that you cried,
cuz i gave you as much as i could possibly provide,
but in the end, insufficient, by you, i was denied.
hardly a memory to show, cuz mine ain't photographic,
first time i've seen an overpass as a place to dive into traffic.
but suicidal? that's something that i'm not,
that's thanks to the amazing friends that i've got
products of my existence,
don't know what could have occured without your assistence,
thinkin about running, not caring about the distance.
but now, i'm seeing light up above,
i must almost be out of this hole that i(you?) dug.
i must almost be out of this hole that WE dug.
yet still i just shrug,
it doesn't even matter,
dead or alive, only slightly do i want the latter.
i think it's cuz when your insides shatter,
you'll be far from ok less than a month after.
i guess i thought i had something to say,
or maybe writing this is just to help me through today..