melting

sometimes you make me just fall apart,
but it's more than that, i can't feel my heart,
trying to hold myself together ,
but it's like trying to trap the weather,
which happened to be rain,
who knew a day that brought my favorite climate would end with so much pain.
i feel myself slip through my hands
melting away just like our plans
i didn't think i'd ever come back from this
you graced me with a final kiss
i think i died the second it ended
or at least a huge part of me was left suspended
i found, like water, i had no substance
could not remain together on my own
unless i froze myself, numb, without feelings, alone
it worked for a while
til i saw you again, your smile,
shattered my iced over insides, into a snow pile
then melting
again melting
this cycle is nothing but hurt
just in different forms, watch me sink into the dirt
had enough of this feeling
having trouble dealing
conflicted emotions i want to be near you but can't handle seeing
every move you make reminds me of the past
you seem so happy, like you got over it so fast
but that can't be true
i thought i knew
your feelings for me were my feelings for you

idk how i will deal, with all that i've felt
but know that your voice, your laugh, your smile
will always make me melt